Don’t get me wrong. Unfriending and blocking are fine for pretty much a reason. If someone is being rude, disrespectful, and harassing you. But it is never okay to use these ‘forms of self-care ‘ to run away from commitment and confrontation. Leaving someone with many questions will take some toll on his/her mental health. Yes, you save yourself from pain, from trauma but what about the other person?
People nowadays are afraid of confrontation because it’s a responsibility. Maybe we will hurt their feeling we don’t want to hurt someone. Thus, we just block the person on social media; in our life. It’s easier, right? After blocking the person, you will just live your life like it never happened. No more dramas, no more explanation. In just a click, they are gone forever. But at the end of the day, there’s this little voice telling you that you should’ve ended things properly. Especially when the person you cut from your life is someone dear to you.
But then, Jesus wouldn’t block or unfriend someone. So blocking doesn’t quite feel like we, Catholics should do.
Pope Francis, in his recent visit to Canada, said in his speech that “we need to listen to and dialogue with one another, in order to step back from the prevailing individualism, from hasty judgments, widespread aggressiveness and the temptation to divide the world into good people and bad!”
Maybe we can try to work things out first. Reach out and talk to each other. Do not build walls immediately. And if you already tried but things are still messy, then you can tell the other person that you’re gonna unfriend or block him/her so that you can both reflect on what happened.
There. Pain is still present but lighter because the pain that the other person feels is not the pain of being abandoned. It is painful, yes. But that person wouldn’t wake up in the middle of the night asking themselves why. Often, they will also question their worth. Asking why without getting an answer is the most frustrating feeling.
God made us with love so we must also treat others with love.
“Love to be real, it must cost—it must hurt—it must empty us of self.”
— Saint Theresa of Calcutta